Boring

Boring was first aired on BBC2 at 9.00pm on 23 November 1982. The boys are incredibly bored. So bored, in fact, that they just don't notice all the interesting things that are going on around them.

There's a televised siege that they watch, unaware that the best action is going on right behind them in their own living room; they play monopoly (doctored by Vyvyan much to the chagrin of Rik); Gen Kitchener has removed himself from a poster on the kitchen wall to sit at the table; a wizened old wizard(?) plonks himself down on their sofa etc etc

Neil who has decided to go out into the garden to kill himself, starts off by digging his own grave, and whilst putting his spade through through the ground narrowly misses the subterranean scene below, where the king is fed up, because '...living in a world where nothing boring ever happens can be a real pisser.'

Eventually the boys decide that there is no alternative but to head off down the pub. After a brief debate, they choose, The Kebab and The Calculator. Arriving just as Madness finish their set, Rik politely enquires of Suggs, 'Do you know Summer Holiday by Cliff Richard?'. Suggs answers with the immortal line, 'You 'um it, I'll smash yer face in.' Vyvyan goes to the bar and meets his mother (the barmaid), whom he hasn't seen in ages...

This is also the episode of Rik's numkl-pukagl-ftmpch (my best guess!); Vyv's Cornflakes quote as he enters the competition to win a Ford Tippex on the back of the Cornflakes packet and Alexei Sayle's eloquent rant on 'the indifference of architectural and council planning.'